What I expected to start as a purely relaxing work-weekend started with a lesson in letting go. I’m learning I’m not the best judge of character—I see something good and I want the rest of the picture to match. It takes a lot for me to adjust my idea of someone, and it’s often a painful process. Friday I found myself crying in the stairwell at work, completely shocked and devastated at just how wrong I’d been about love. My friends picking me up for Doe Bay were nearly en-route, my bags packed with gardening gloves, wine bottles and groceries, my computer still glowing with the last tasks of the week. My friend K- sat with me and listened until I was ready to walk back to my desk. She came out to the elevator with me, hugged me as I left, and I got into the car in a blur of wrung-out-tension.
By the time we reached the ferry I was in a completely different state. B and A are engaged now, and A is a relentless source of laughter, singing and joy—and one of the kindest people I’ve met. We taught M how to play Rummikub on the boat and got into Doe Bay with enough time to hit the hot tubs and sauna. Wine and games and laughter until 2 am—although it’s a work weekend, it barely feels like it.
Doe Bay is such a magical place, and I’m so lucky that I get to help make it more beautiful. I ran into a woman in the sauna who asked what our group was doing—when I explained the Gorse Busting she told me that her best friend was married out at Gorse Point. This wouldn’t have been possible just a few years ago. It’s a great feeling: I worked with people I love to make a place for two people, strangers to me, to acknowledge their own love.
It was wonderful to see my friends in such good spirits. There are new relationships, new engagements, new marriages. Last year I was heart-sick, using this space to heal. This year I’m just excited—I am going to Mexico in a few short weeks, my best friend is moving home, I can use my apartment to host dinner parties and game nights, and I’m getting stronger. My cross country coach used to say “Water off a duck’s back” whenever we were caught up about bad races. I think it’s a good motto, and something I’m working towards. So let my misplaced love roll down my back and away. I have so much love to give and it just keeps growing.
Work in progress, started at Doe Bay.