Love and Counterparts




“A book which does not contain its counterbook is considered incomplete.” -Jorge Luis Borges

A wonderful trip to the middle of the country, and I am home again, thinking about love and its complexity.  Love is work and struggle, but sometimes it is easy.  I am lucky to have a friend who found a bit of ease and grace with love.  Sometimes things just work.

It was strange to be at such an entirely different point in my life than most of the people walking down the aisle with me to send J. into her new life.  I have no ring, and no prospects of a ring in any near future.  Although I wasn’t around to help with most of the planning, I was still able to lend a hand in.  I helped unfold etsy puff balls, set up the center pieces, and run last minute errands.  I think, though, that it was helping to zip the wedding gown into its garment bag the day after that it really sunk in- she’s married now.  While it’s perfect for her, I have time.  I have to figure out what my book is before I can find the counterbook, and I’m still figuring it out.

Train depot, before the set up

2 thoughts on “Love and Counterparts

  1. At the Jindu wedding, one of the HBS friends asked me “Were you jealous?” I wasn’t sure what he was referring to- jealous of L. that she was getting married? Jealous that I wasn’t on Chris’s arm when he walked up that aisle (he was a bridesman)…. I laughed and said my shoes weren’t made for standing through two ceremonies. The comment bothered me though. Why does everyone assume a wedding is the goal? I love seeing my friends happy at their weddings, the glow of the first dance and all that. But not me, not now. Perhaps I’m conflicted. Apparently “More than most Westerners, Americans believe — deeply, madly, truly — in the sanctity of marriage. But we also have some of the most liberal divorce laws in the developed world, and one of the highest divorce rates…” (according to this article) Gotta say, our family has added a few ticks to that divorce rate. So I think for now I’ll celebrate with my friends and let others have that big white gown.

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